“Romance takes work with both you and your partner working together.
These ways to keep romance alive in your marriage or relationship
are the perfect starting point to getting or keeping your
relationship heading in the right direction.”
Let’s get real … As wives, when we said “I do,” we had visions of romantic nights with our husband, candlelight dinners, and gifts of flowers at the end of a long day. We pictured riding off into the sunset with our “Happily Ever After.”
Guys had visions of home cooked meals and his beautiful wife having only time for him.
If only romance in marriage played out that way! In real life you have to work on romance and relationships to keep them strong and give them longevity.
Ladies, with these 20 tips to keep romance alive in marriage, you can help your guy keep the romance alive in your relationship.
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Ways to keep romance alive
With some thought and these tips, you can set your husband up for romantic success, and in return, you both win by keeping the romance alive and fun.
Guys, Gary wrote a blog post just for you ~ How to be a More Romantic Guy. This is one guy to another. Romance and romantic gestures did not come natural for him. These are the things he has worked on because he saw the importance in keeping the romance alive in our relationship.
1 ~ Watch your words
Words carry a lot of weight, especially when it’s with the one that is the closest to us. As wives, we need to be lifting our husbands with positive affirmation.
Remember all those positive things you said and thought about your partner while dating. Those are the things you need to focus on and express during your marriage.
It’s important to express these positive thoughts to our spouse and watch what we say about our spouse to our friends.
I once asked a little boy what his mommy called his dad. I was trying to figure out his dad’s first name. He looked at me very seriously and said; she doesn’t call him anything, she likes him.
2 ~ Physical contact
We all need physical contact. Not all contact has to be sexual, and it shouldn’t be. Those small gestures during the day send many signals to your husband.
Make it a point to brush his hand when he hands you his plate.
Caress his shoulder when you go around him.
If you are in a restaurant, let your foot touch his leg.
Hold his hand in public.
Cuddle close in the car or when you are both on the couch.
Randomly hug him for no particular reason.
These small gestures of physical contact may lead to more, and that’s okay, but that’s not your goal. We all need the intimacy of nonsexual touch.
3 ~ Compliments
It is so easy to focus on the negative. Human nature takes us in the direction of noticing the negative first. Instead, we need to focus on all the little things each other does right, compliment them, highlight the positive, and let the negative stuff go.
Picture your spouse as you are curled up on the couch together. Take time to look at them and let them know that you noticed some small thing that they did during the day and how much you appreciated it. This is sure to put a smile on their face.
4 ~ Share experiences
Over the years, there will be experiences that only the two of you have shared. Most of those experiences will be happy.
Search out those firsts, something you haven’t done before; visit a new restaurant together, take up a new hobby or travel to a romantic island ~ discover these new things together.
You may need to compromise, there will be things that each of you has wanted to try or experience that may have never been on your radar. Give it a try together. You never know, you might find something that you both enjoy. Even if it’s not something that you both want to do again, you have the experience of having tried it together for the first time.
These firsts don’t have to be significant events. Even the small things shared between just the two of you becomes special.
5 ~ Everyday romance
Romance does not always happen on a grand scale. For some, romantic gestures come easy and others have to work on it.
Take notice of all those small things, the text that says “I Love You” in the middle of the afternoon, when they start the car for you on a cold morning, open the car door for you at the restaurant, or even kill that huge spider for you. For some guys this is romance.
According to Gary, this may not seem romantic, but in his eyes, he becomes the hero, the knight in shining armor killing that spider, and as such … romantic.
This may or may not be your idea of romance but for some guys this is their way of being romantic, we need to acknowledge the effort they are making. Huge romantic gestures come easier for some than others.
This Romantic and Fun Fondue Date Night Idea
is a great way to add some fun after a long day at work.
6 ~ Appearance
Continue to take care of yourself. While you are dating, a lot of importance is put on appearance and making sure your sweetie only sees the best side of you. Continue to make showing them your best side a priority.
Yes, you are both going to see and experience each other at your worst, but taking care of yourself shows your partner that you value yourself and your relationship. Which in return shows that you care about them.
Self-care plays an essential part in your relationship. By using our Fun Self Care Activities, you’ll be taking care of yourself first. If you are taking care of yourself, your partner will be encouraged to take of themselves also.
Some partners may need a bit of help with this one, but as a gentle reminder, helping them match their clothes does not involve nagging or eye rolling.
For some added fun, the two of you can experience self-care together, visit the spa or have an at-home spa day.
7 ~ Prioritize
Prioritize each other and your relationship. Yes, outside things will demand your attention. It is easy to get wrapped up in all of the everyday things and forget about yourself or each other. Keep your relationship a top priority.
A great way to say “I love you” is to disconnect from everything and just put each other first. Find those times to disconnect and focus on just the two of you.
Depending on where you are in your relationship, this will be easier for some than others. Some of you may have children and jobs calling for your attention, and that’s in addition to the demands of the house, bills and everything else. Don’t lose focus, prioritize each other; you are in this together.
8 ~ Take Notice
A great way to keep the romance alive is to take notice of all the little things your partner does for you, your home and your relationship.
You may not realize it, but this is romantic. Those little things are your spouse’s way of doing something special for you. That may seem like a stretch but guys are wired differently that women. Men see romance as doing and most women see romance as giving.
Don’t forget to express to your partner how much you appreciate those little things that they do. Find a special way to say thanks.
9 ~ Really listen
Take the time to listen when your partner is sharing something with you. I don’t mean listening from the kitchen as you are cooking, while they sit at the table and tell you about their day.
You need to give them your undivided attention, put down the phone, mute the TV or what ever it takes. Practice looking at them when they talk and avoid being distracted.
You need not just hear what they share, but you need to really listen.
10 ~ Do the little things
Keep your spouse interested. Continue to do all of those little things for each other that you did while dating. Those extra little things say, “I Love You.”
Have a frosty mug waiting in the freezer after work for his drink.
Rub their feet with lotion after a long hard day.
Make their favorite meal and have it waiting after work.
Greet them in the morning with hot coffee in bed.
When your spouse feels special, and you go out of your way to do those little extras, it won’t be long, and they will want to be doing little things for you. I call that a win-win.
11 ~ Physical attraction alive
Keep the physical attraction alive. When you are dating, you put in the extra effort to look good, smell good and present your best foot first.
I’m not saying you have to dress to the hilt every day, but care about your looks. Keep some of your modesty; don’t pass gas or burping freely in front of your partner, close the bathroom door when you are in there. Somethings need to stay just with you.
Keep some things covered for those intimate moments.
12 ~ Laugh together
We have all heard it said that laughter is the best medicine. That goes for relationships also. As a couple, you need to have fun. You need to laugh with each other.
I didn’t say laugh at each other, although this may be appropriate in a comical way and with a “I love You” mixed in.
If your relationship is on track, looking back and laughing together at those comical moments of your past, is good medicine. Life is to short to not be happy.
13 ~ Be Supportive
Whether it is a newer relationship or a seasoned relationship, we all need the support of our partners. Throughout the years, all relationships will go through ups and downs. New jobs, life transitions, and even some unfortunate times, through it all, your spouse needs to know that they have your complete support. They should never question that your support will be there.
Even if at the moment you may not 100% agree. There should never be any doubt that you will support your partner and stand beside them.
14 ~ Initiate Romance
How to keep romance alive in marriage ~ initiate the romance. Have fun with this one! Be romantic, send messages and texts throughout the day. Set the stage for a romantic even together by dimming the light and using candles for dinner.
At times go over the top and surprise them by scheduling a couples massage on your days off. Expect nothing in return, just enjoy your time together.
You show them what is possible; you are modeling romance for them.
15 ~ Initiate Intimacy
Take the lead. Have some fun keeping intimacy alive. Let your partner know you want to be with them. Initiate things to the extent that you are comfortable.
Intimacy in a relationship is important. It should be give and take on both sides. By initiating things you are not only letting your partner know that you want them but you are also sharing with them what your needs are.
Feeling comfortable enough to initiate intimacy shows that you are trusting your partner enough to be vulnerable about your own needs.
16 ~ Try new things
Find new things that the two of you can try together.
Take dance lessons together, learn a new dance, and then follow up with taking your partner out dancing.
Go on an adventure together, discover something new.
Take a road trip, pack the car and go explore together. Road trips can take you just to your hometown or around the United States.
The fun part is you are doing it together and trying new things.
Some of our best moments have taken place on one of our road trips ~
On the Road to Discovering Wisconsin’s Waterfalls
The Great River Road Through Wisconsin
Romantic Road Trip to a Lavender Farm
17 ~ Date nights
Make date a priority! Set aside special time that is designated just for the two of you. Take turns planning your date night.
When you plan a date night, focus on something that your spouse enjoys. By scheduling something geared towards them, you let them know how much a priority they are to you.
While on the date that you planned, give it everything you have to enjoy the things your partner does. You may find a favorite past-time that you both enjoy doing together.
Don’t let your dates get stagnate, avoid the same restaurant all the time. Think outside the box, put thought into your dates. Even after 20 years of dating, make them fun and original.
18 ~ Be forgiving
This may be difficult, but be forgiving. We all make mistakes. As you age and grow together in your relationship, there will be bumps and times you need to forgive and times you need to apologize.
Always remember in every situation to be as forgiving as you would want your partner to be if the roles were reversed.
19 ~ Don’t scold or nag
This goes back to watching how you talk to your partner. It’s easy to fall into the habit of scolding or nagging when you point out things that are irritating you.
Take a breath and talk to your partner the same way you would if you were in a crowded room of friends and strangers. It really puts things in perspective about how your words are coming across.
Your partner is not your child. You are both doing life together as a team. Your words and actions affect your partner and vice versa. Choose them wisely.
20 ~ Don’t compare
Don’t compare your marriage or relationship to your friends and your neighbors. Don’t look back and compare how things are now to the way they were when you were dating. You are both growing and changing. If things are different than they used to be, it is not because just one of you has changed; it’s because you both have changed and your circumstances may have changed.
Live in the moment, enjoy the now and what you both are like right now. Don’t look back and don’t compare.
When it comes to relationships, we can not stress enough the importance of understanding your partner’s love language.
Gary Chapman says “Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge.” This couldn’t be a more accurate statement!
So how can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life? Start with going through his book “The 5 Love Languages” together. It was an eye opener for us and keeps us on track knowing our partners love language.
Romance and relationships take work. With the right attitude and both partners working together, the journey to a romantic relationship can be fun and exciting.
The responsibility of romance staying alive in a relationship does not become the responsibility of just one half of the couple. With both parties making romance a priority, you can both have a long and happy relationship.
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